Waste of Time
by Kei Jones
Summary: Sam's eyes widen as he looks at the woman that once used to be his everything.  Her comment cuts him deeply because it's become apparent that she's been thinking that he didn't love her – again. One-shot angst with a 'pinch' of Blackwater.


Waste of Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. **

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As he's running his patrol does he pick up her scent; it's strong, sweet and so Lee-Lee. The imprint in him tells him to just leave her alone, to continue on with his patrol and make sure the rest of La Push is safe but there's another part of him that overrides that logic. Redirecting his course he finds her sitting on the edge of their diving cliff. She's leaning back, resting her weight on her palms as her focus seems to just be staring out into the ocean. He can't help but frown noticing that her hair is growing out and that it's getting long again. Its further proof that she's no longer in his pack as only Jacob would be lax in letting everyone's hair just grows however they want.

"Is there an emergency? Or are you just being nosey?" Leah asks without bothering to turn around.

"No, there's no emergency." Sam answers walking forward and stopping a few feet behind her. They've not spoken to one another in months and he's really only seen her in passing outside of his and Emily's wedding day.

"They say curiosity killed the cat but I don't think a wolf would fair much better." She throws out after a few minutes of silence between them. Sam frowns at Leah's comment and sighs before sitting down next to her.

"I never see you much anymore, Lee-Lee." Sam states and he flinches as Leah lets out a low growl. He's still not gotten into the habit of calling her by her real name; she's been his Lee-Lee for so long now that calling her simply 'Leah' doesn't fit right with him. But he still apologizes for the slip even if he'll never consciously decide to correct it anytime soon.

"There's a reason why you don't see me 'much anymore'." Leah states with a frown and a deep sigh. "We're not together anymore, Sam." His brow furrows as he looks away from her; away from her and the truth. "There's not much point in it." Leah continues on.

"So how have you been doing?" Sam asks looking to change the subject. He smiles weakly as Leah's lips pucker together showing her slight annoyance with him. It's still a good sign as it means she's not going to attack him – at least not physically.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking." Leah admits as she stretches her legs out and looks down at her feet.

"About what?" Sam asks as he watches her toes wiggle. He raises an eyebrow noticing her toenails are painted a light peach color; they make her toes look real healthy and cute but he frowns at the lack of practicality in them.

"About everything; my life, past, present, future, Mom, Seth, Dad, the pack, school," Leah rattles off as she swings her legs.

Another silence falls upon them as they both sit looking out towards the ocean. Despite all that has happened between them Sam can't fathom that there should be such an awkward moment. He's known Leah all his life and she's been a huge part of it for the last 10-years.

"What'd you decide or figure out?" Sam asks again looking to break the uncomfortable silence between them.

Leah turns to look at him with a serious look upon her face that leaves Sam feeling slightly self-conscious. He can tell that she's silently debating with herself over whether or not to share her thoughts with him. She used to do this when they first started dating; her trying to figure out whether or not he was worth letting into her deepest thoughts and feelings. He fights the urge to nudge her with his shoulder and give her his warm and reassuring smile as it would probably only succeed in helping her to decide 'not' to share with him.

"I gave you too much." Leah states simply looking Sam dead in his eyes. His brow furrows for a second at her words and he frowns trying to comprehend what Leah just said. "I gave too much of myself to you." Sam's eyes widen as he looks at the woman that once used to be his everything. Her comment cuts him deeply because it's become apparent that she's been thinking that he didn't love her – again.

"We weren't meant to be together, Sam," Leah continues on deciding to go ahead and get it all out. "I've come to accept that." Leah says pulling her legs up and crossing them. "All we've done is waste each other's time," Leah says with a frown as she rests her elbows on her knees.

Sam's eyes widen, his face falls and he feels the small part of his heart that still loves Leah Clearwater break. Does – does she really believe that what they had was a waste of time? That had circumstances been different that they wouldn't have still loved one another?

"It's obvious that we were playing a game in a losing battle. We never would've lasted." Leah continues on as if answering Sam's thoughts.

There's a small frown upon her face as she busies herself with the few tufts of grass sticking out from in between the rocks. Her eyes aren't dark, hateful or even full of spite but there's a sad, dark truth in them.

"Lee-Lee," Sam begins slowly shaking his head.

"You can admit it, Sam," Leah interrupts him. "I'm sure you thought about it but we wasted our time dating one another. I would've been better off dating someone else and you,"

"How can you say that?" Sam exclaims finally finding his voice, his shock being overridden by his hurt and frustration.

"Because it's the truth," Leah states as she furrows her brow. "This was inevitable," Leah explains motioning between the two of them.

"Lee-Lee, what we had was,"

"Wasn't _real_, Sam." Leah snaps a growl rumbling from her throat. "It wasn't real; we weren't in love." Sam sits staring at her in disbelief. He sees the woman before him, he recognizes her from her looks, expressions and even gestures but he can't believe what he is hearing.

"I _loved_ you, Leah Clearwater." Sam states with a deep frown on his face. "I loved you all my heart and mind and body. I _gave_ you just as much as you gave me; we gave each other all that we were." Sam feels a surge of fire shoot up and down his spine as Leah looks back at him with a hard, blank expression. He can see in her eyes that either she doesn't believe him or has convinced herself that it's not true.

"Sam, don't even try to make some pointless declaration of unrequited love or some crazy shit like that." Leah says dismissively as she stands up and stretches.

"Unrequited? We loved each other, Lee-Lee," Sam snarls jumping up. "We were fucking engaged." He states as his hands clench into tight fists. "So…what now? You just think I asked you to marry me just for the hell of it? I asked you because I _wanted_ to spend the rest of my life with you – no one else; just you."

Sam feels his anger begin to rise as Leah only stands still looking at him. There is a small frown on her face and she licks her lips after letting out a deep sigh.

"Sam, I've had a lot of time to think this over. The others were right I was upset over nothing," Sam's breath hitches as if he's just been punched in the gut. He knows who the 'others' are that she's referring to; it's his own brothers. The ones who had to share a mind with the two of them when he was guilt-ridden and she was brokenhearted and later became bitter.

The guys kept on telling Leah to just get over it, to let it go and stop moping over Sam Uley. A part of him wanted her to take their advice but never to this extent; never to the point where she's now convinced herself that what they had was fake, a waste of time and effort. She's the only woman, besides his mother, that knows of all of his fears and insecurities. Emily will never know about his hurt feelings and shortcomings because that's not what the imprint is about; it's about being on a continual high. It's not that Leah brought him down or put him down but she's as closed to reality he's ever gotten without falling over the edge.

"The guys were right. Me being upset over what happened between us was pointless because it didn't mean anything." Leah says shaking her head as she crosses her arms. "So why should I continue caring about something that,"

"That's enough, Lee." Leah turns around to see Jacob standing behind her. The two share a pointed look with one another before Leah sighs and throws up her hands as if in defeat.

"Whatever," Leah says giving a quick nod. "But the point is Sam, I'm done letting our past control my present." Leah says before turning and walking away. Sam's teeth grind together as Leah only pauses to look up at Jacob and disappear within the forest.

The two alphas look at one another, regarding the other's presence as there is a sudden tension in the air. Sam isn't sure if it has everything to do with Leah or maybe it's because they've still not settled their territorial disputes. Sam's frown deepens as Jacob clears his throat and steps forward; the boy, now eighteen, is taller than he is and his muscles are more defined. It's obvious now which is the strongest, fastest and true leader of the pack.

"Did you have something to do with that bullshit she was spoutin'?" Sam demands angrily as he points at the path Leah took. His frustration only grows as Jacob lets out a sigh and his shoulders slump.

"You knew it was only a matter of time before she finally got over it." Jacob states with a frown.

"She believes that I _never_ loved her." Sam growls as he points at himself and he suddenly feels cold. Jacob eyebrows raise as Sam looks away, his eyes looking glassy for a moment. "I did love her – with every fiber of my body, I swear I loved her. There wasn't anything I wouldn't have done for her." Sam admits.

"It just wasn't enough, Sam." Jacob whispers as he shakes his head. "Sometimes it's never enough." Jacob adds on as he looks out over the cliff, the same cliff that Bella Swan had jumped off.

"I wanted her to move on but not like this – I never wanted her to doubt my feelings for her." Sam says his voice sounding gruffer than usual. "Knowing that she believes that all those moments we shared were a waste of time," Sam states stopping to clear his throat. Jacob looks down at the ground sensing that the older man is close to the brink of tears. "It hurts worse than knowing that I lied to her for so long."

Jacob lets out another deep sigh as he shakes his head; silently he's cursing Leah for doing this to Sam. A part of him feels like it was a bitch move on her part, one last jab at the man that broke her but he also knows that Leah wasn't willing to offer up this information unless Sam asked. Leah is entitled to her own peace and if believing that her and Sam were never meant to be then who is he to disagree? Not much different than Bella believing that they were never meant to be together – nothing more than friends.

Jacob wishes that he had shown up sooner or spoken up sooner rather than let Leah and Sam have their moment. Sure it's been easy for the guys to tell Leah to just 'get over it' but he also knows that they didn't mean for there to be more hurt and pain spread around once Leah finally did. When a relationship ends there's always someone that winds up with a broken heart.

"Look, Sam, don't – don't let it get to you like that?" Jacob offers up. "You've got Emily now, right? And you love her now." Jacob feels his stomach churn having to talk about an imprint. Imprinting takes away ones ability to choose their own path in life. "Let Leah go and just live the life you're supposed to with Emily." Jacob gives a weak smile as Sam slowly and sadly nods his head.

"I guess you're right." Sam says with a heavy sigh. With a half-hearted 'thank you' Sam turns and walks away.

Jacob stands on the cliff once Sam is gone, his eyes dark as he looks down at the breaking waves. With a sigh he, too, turns and disappears heading off towards home. Walking inside his house, he's not surprised to see her sitting there on the couch waiting for him. She doesn't look at him as he plops down on the couch next to her and even as he wraps an arm around her waist to pull her closer does she refuse to look at him.

Nuzzling into the crook of her neck he inhales her warm scent and sighs feeling somewhat at ease. Her skin is soft, warm and she tastes like the rain outside.

"Take it you're not mad at me." Leah comments as she bites back a giggle as his fingertips tickles her sides.

"Not mad but disappointed, yea." Jacob breathes out with a sigh.

"Why?" Leah asks turning to look at her alpha.

"Lee," Jacob sighs out as he throws his head back and looks up at the ceiling. How do you tell your, what, current girlfriend? Is that what they were?

"Disappointed for telling him the truth?" Leah says darkly with a deep frown.

"It hurt him, Lee." Jacob says sitting up and looking into her eyes.

"Oh, it'll only sting for the moment. Emily will make him forget soon enough." Leah states dismissively. Jacob frowns as Leah turns her attention back to the TV. It deepens as he thinks over their 'current' arrangement.

"Are _we_ just wasting our time?" Jacob asks deciding to finally get the issue out and in the open. Jacob swallows the lump in his throat as Leah turns around to look at him and there is a hint of confusion in them.

"Probably but at least we're having fun in the meantime, right?" Leah asks with a coy smile playing on her lips. Against his better judgment, Jacob returns with a smile of his own and is rewarded with a deep kiss from his beta.

She sighs contentedly as she snuggles into his side, her hands wedging in between her legs as Jacob settles her into his lap. Kissing her hair Jacob sighs as he wraps his arms tightly around her and pulling her into his chest. In a matter of minutes, she's snoozing lightly and the anxious butterflies in his stomach begin to calm down.

All Jacob can do is hope that in the end Leah won't consider what they have as a 'waste of time'. In the meantime, he'll do all that he can to convince her that they can have something more than 'just a really good time' together.

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A/N: So okay...here goes another one shot. The idea kinda hit me while I just had that lull in the day where your mind begins to wander and you start thinking back on your life. Specifically I went back to bad relationships that were seriously a waste of my time. You know it's just one of those realizations that hit you and it helps you move on but then it got me thinking...would I ever tell that SOB that? And the truth is...yes, yes I would. So I gave Leah the opportunity and just because I can never resist threw in a bit of Blackwater.


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